Are You a Young Lady Finding yourself Stuck in Life?

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We live in a fast paced world that has become more focused on technology and personal advancement than the needs of the individual. It is easy to get down on yourself or feel the urge to give up, but the truth is that will not solve anything. I am writing this with the hope that it can inspire just 1 person to be a better person and work to achieve a life that is truly fulfilling. I have been where you are at and know what it feels like. I have noticed 2 qualities that seem to prevent many from success and personal happiness.


The first danger you must avoid is a low self esteem. I can not stress this enough. If you do not love yourself, you will never be able to truly love another or be comfortable with who you are. A low self esteem will cause you to underestimate yourself, let manipulative people take advantage of you, cause you to push away people who can help you, and give you a sense of unrest because you will feel like nothing you do is ever good enough. To love yourself, you first must be true to yourself. Contrary to popular belief, people who are prideful, arrogant, materialistic, and vain hate themselves. It is all a front they put up to make others feel inferior. Do not fall into this trap. Society in general mistakes these traits for strength when they are actually glaring signs of weakness and insecurity. You can not achieve happiness through these things. For example, lets take materialism into account. If having better “stuff” than everyone else is what you feel makes you happy, it will be impossible. This is because no matter what you do, there will always be someone else who has better “stuff” than you do, more expensive clothes, bigger house, fancier car, etc. This is a form of competition that will not benefit you. If instead you make up your mind to love yourself, this stuff will not matter to you, and you will be able to see through it. Let us use vanity as an example. Do not mistake me, I believe everyone should try to look their best, but feeling you have to look like an anorexic, bleach blond, D-cupped magazine model is not healthy. I have known models. They have told me that it is impossible unless you more or less starve yourself. Some of them have told me they ate only 1 apple or 1 stalk of celery every day to have the body they have. Every human being has physical flaws, and the sooner you accept them the better off you will be. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Society is extremely shallow, but that does not mean you have to be as well. Look your best, take care of your body, and be happy with that. Those magazines present an image that is unattainable. It is a fantasy. Television and magazines are not real life. They are glamorized to appeal to the masses. If you base your supposed happiness on achieving an impossible and false image, you will never be happy with yourself because there is always something else you could do cosmetically or surgically to try to achieve perfection, which is impossible.


So you ask how do you love yourself? This is easier said than done, but the first step is figuring out who YOU are, not who society feels you should be. Take some time out to sit down and write out the person you want to be, both now and in the future. Also write down the things you love about yourself and things you feel are negatives that you could change. Never stop growing as a person. You can always improve yourself, but do not go overboard or it will overcome you. Also, learn to accept at work at the flaws in your personality. Everyone has at least 1 thing they struggle with, whether they will admit it or not. For me, it is keeping my emotions in check, but with years of work I can see improvement in myself. The next step is the hard part, actually putting a plan into action and fulfilling it. Realize that every human being is born an individual, different DNA and different fingerprints. It is a lot harder to be a leader than a follower, but the truth is nobody respects followers. It is the leaders who make differences in the world, and change starts with the individual. It is a lot less stressful to be yourself than to have to live your entire life pretending to be someone else. Also, keep in mind that no matter what you do you will never be able to please everyone, so just be yourself and make it easier!


The second thing keeping most from bettering their lives is jealousy and blaming others for your problems. You can not be responsible for the actions of others, only your own. It is popular to blame others for problems, but most the time people bring problems on themselves. Are you in an abusive relationship? You picked the other person and are choosing to stay. Have you gotten yourself into debt? Nobody forced you to charge all that stuff. Are you unhappy with your weight? If so, it is not the fault of someone who spends time at the gym. Jealousy will get you nowhere, only give you a sense of false satisfaction by blaming someone else for an issue that is entirely your own. I understand there are some things in life that can not be changed, but for anything that can be it is up to you and you alone to put in the hard work and reap the rewards of positive change in your own life. The sooner you learn to accept responsibility for your actions and love yourself, the sooner you can be a happier person.


I hope this can help someone out there. I am an independent life coach who has been helping young ladies for 6 years. If you are a struggling young lady who would like more information about me or speak with me about what is troubling you, feel free to visit my website at http://jmlifecoach.110mb.com. Thank you for reading, and I hope you have a great day!