From Career Girl to Step Mom

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Today, many women have broken through the glass ceiling in their professional lives. Climbing the ladder is not easy; it is the result of significant years of hard work, serious dedication to education and advanced job training, and an intense focus that often puts a personal life on hold. Invariably, single, successful, career women suddenly find themselves in love, and many times the partner of their dreams is a divorced man with kids.

Becoming an instant stepmom is sometimes the most demanding task a successful career woman will attempt. Even though she has earned and enjoyed a fulfilling professional life, the complex demands of step parenting can confuse, discourage, and generate a lack of confidence in even the most capable career woman. Unlike in professional life, these women are generally unprepared for the missteps so common in this new personal relationship dynamic and for the first time, may feel at sea with feelings and challenges that are unexpected and perplexing. In a struggle that can be isolating and self defeating, women ask many questions: What precisely is the role of step mother? Should I be a friend or a disciplinarian? Is it normal to feel annoyed about having to share a new husband with demanding kids? What about the ex spouse? How do you figure out money issues? How do I juggle the job, the new marriage, and time for myself and still feel balanced and in control? And will this ever be fun and fulfilling?

Like the capable professionals they are, career women look to experts for answers but often see nothing except a clutter of parenting and step mom books that don't address their unique and specific experience. Fortunately, a successful career woman who became an instant step mother to three young children has written the book she wished she had available when she began her amazing passage from single, successful industry leader to being a rookie in the bullpen of step mothering.

A Career Girl's Guide to Becoming a Stepmom by Jacquelyn B. Fletcher is the definitive guide that speaks the language and describes the shared experience of career women. And, as it addresses every important issue about being a step mom, the book blends a real life perspective, a positive attitude, and a realistic approach that focuses on solutions, never on defeat or negative compromise. Her best-selling book is based on her own experiences and important contributions from experts in the field: adult step children, and other respected career women turned step mothers. Jacquelyn writes with understanding, compassion, and business-like clarity.

The recurring theme is the utilization of practical assets from a successful professional life in the new job of step mothering. Jacquelyn focuses on organization, goal setting, negotiation, dealing with difficult co workers, delaying gratification for long term success, networking, problem solving, creative brainstorming and team building. Each chapter starts with a Career Girl's Personal Assistant note which highlights specific challenges and opportunities and helps outline the strategy for reaching the goals around each topic presented--just like in the professional realm. Every chapter concludes with Discussion Topics for Two which essentially form the structure for action steps that will make the biggest difference in creating a happy healthy blended family where everyone feels loved, valued, connected, and hopeful. This could describe "The Payoff" which Jacquelyn discusses in the last chapter.

One of the most powerful ideas in the book is comparing a new job to the new family. In a new job, "you must learn the culture before you can be effective". The learning curve is steep and it's important to spend time, to build new relationships, to ask questions, to comprehend the dynamics of the company, and in return, share information about yourself so the new co-workers can get acquainted with you and trust you. The fundamental professional skills of listening and learning are equally important in a family as in a company.

Reading the book is one way to learn more about Jacquelyn's business-based techniques for an effective step mothering role. If you would like to speak to Jacquelyn directly, join Emily Bouchard on January 15, 2009 when she will interview Jacquelyn as part of www.blended-families.com "Ask the Expert" series. Submit your most pressing question and join the conversation.